i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
