I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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