How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
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