I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I'm getting married
To pizza
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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