make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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