She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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