Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize