she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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