If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
