To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
