Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
