Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
this hospital has no fireball
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
