we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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