i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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