she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
When did angry sex become our thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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