Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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