just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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