Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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