It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
