I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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