Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
