Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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