she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
We just shotgunned beers for America
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
