Do you still have your period?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
