I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
