After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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