would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
