Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
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I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
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I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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