he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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