ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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