I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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