Whod you bang
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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