We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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