yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
