sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
