I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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