Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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