rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
