meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Randomize
