The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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