yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
