sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
