He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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