Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize