Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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