jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
