talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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