dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
