Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
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Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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