i already hear my dad disowning me
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
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