I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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