What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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