I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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