I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
