i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
