I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
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