okay pat passed out under dana's car
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
