Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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