This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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