worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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