You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
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